I’m a dreamer, don’t wake me up.

For most of my life I’ve had a tendency to zone out, partially because I am incredibly ADD and am easily distracted (thank god for Adderall), but the other reason is because I am a big time dreamer.  Growing up I thought that was weird and I would constantly attempt to snap myself back to reality and focus on what I thought was important. Now that I am so much older and wiser (insert a few chuckles), I have come to realize that my dreams are what have led me to the life I am living.

I am big on reading daily quotes and reciting my morning affirmations: ‘You is kind. You is smart. You is important.’ Obviously said in a southern accent, hahaha just kidding! The other day I read a quote that says, “What consumes your mind, controls your life.” This couldn’t be truer. Currently, I have made a name for myself as a Realtor in Southern California and I definitely love my career and real estate, but the last couple years my mind has started to drift again… Real estate provides me with the lifestyle I’ve always wanted while giving me the freedom to make my own schedule, which is freaking amazing! Recently, I have started to question whether real estate is able to give me the creative outlet that my mind keeps vying for. In some aspects, real estate does require a creative mind to make things happen but that is when I start to question what type of creative outlet I want, aka the million dollar question. The other question I always ask myself is why I don’t pursue more of my dreams…the other million dollar question. Life can get complicated and incredibly chaotic, the thought of adding more to it somewhat stresses me out, but then again isn’t the point of adding this creative outlet to reduce stress in my life?!

Over the last few years I’ve really gotten into music, specifically EDM (electronic dance music). I have toyed with the idea of taking up classes to learn how to DJ, but I always found an excuse to not really pursue. I have even gone as far as meeting with an instructor to discuss the course but then just left it at that. Last week I was talking with my boyfriend and told him that one of the things that I think would be so amazing to do would be a creative director for music videos. When I said it out loud, it finally went from this dream I’ve been having in my mind to something that would be pretty incredible to tryout, in some weird sense it made it more real. When I am listening to music, I am always envisioning how I would produce the music video and make my friends suffer as I explain in great detail the vision I am having. I’ve actually made my boyfriend listen to this one song (Clockwork feat. Taylr Renee – Signals) at least 20 times one day because I was trying to explain every single angle, mood and effect that I would implement; he was of course a good sport which I think was primarily because I had some anime-type effects in mind. The thought of coupling the music I love while creating a story is really exhilarating, which then makes me think that if I get this excited about something why am I not trying it out?! The obvious answer is that I have become content with my current life/routine and it scares me to try something new with the possibility of failing. From many of my conversations with friends, I feel like this is a very common trend, but aren’t dreams supposed to be or at least seem overwhelmingly impossible but at the same time possible?!

From when I was a kid to now, I have been a somewhat controlled-type of person, doing exactly what I need to do to get what needs to get done completed. With that being said, as much as I think I am a controlled-type of person, I think my subconscious has definitely played a role in taking all my positive thoughts through the years and somehow implementing them to help me create my current life.

…I always dreamed to swim at a division-1 university, accomplished that. I always dreamed of moving back to California, done that. I always dreamed of living in a major city, achieved that. I always dreamed of living on the beach, doing that. I always dreamed of being an actor, did that. I always dreamed of modeling, reached that. I always dreamed of owning my own company, doing that…

You see, without me knowing it, my thoughts and dreams were forming my life, aka the law of attraction. For so long I thought my life was so boring and I was just going through the motions without even realizing all the things I was achieving. I would literally come up with every excuse: “I’m just in a rut.” “It is what it is.” “I am just too busy.” Now going back to when I said I have become “wiser” over the years, well I am starting to realize I am using those excuses again which is causing my creative outlet blockage. Just to clarify, my life is pretty amazing I’m not bitching. I have a career and company that is continuing to grow and succeed, I have an amazing family who supports 83% of my decisions, I have a great group of friends on both coasts and I have been lucky enough to meet a guy that balances me out. Do I think real estate is something I will do the rest of my life…ABSOLUTELY! I do not want people to misconstrue this by thinking I have lost my passion for it; I am just the type of person that constantly seeks a challenge. If you ever want to piss me off or bore me then bring repetition into my life and you will see a miserable Brett. My swim coaches can attest to that. When they gave me sets that were the same thing over and over and over and OVER again, I would act like an 8-year old spoiled brat and act as if I haven’t been swimming for nearly 20 years and swim at a snail’s pace. That even goes for my nightlife… I get so bored when me and my friends do the same s**t every weekend, it makes me turn into a hermit and have no interest in going out.

Life needs spontaneity and I think when we are constantly dreaming we are opening our minds to amazing opportunities and keeping life stimulating. I refuse to be one of those 60-year old men who wake up at the same time every day, goes to work from 9-5, comes home and eats dinner then gets ready for bed, and repeats it every day…that is like my death sentence. NO SERIOUSLY, if I ever break the law and since our system is always “overpopulated” then just throw me into a repetitive routine for my punishment, I will legit learn my lesson. The moral of this story is that life is far too short to not follow your dreams and all I can say is: KEEP ON DREAMING YOU SEXY DREAMER!

-Deuces, BHill